Today, I had the absolute pleasure of briefly interviewing two veterans of the MO growing community, my uncles- Peter and Stuart.

Peter, Stuart (who are identical) and my mum make up a triplet, although my mothers MO isn’t as visible.

Peter first grew his MO at 19 but initially had a ‘full set’ (beard) then carefully sculptured it down to a MO. I liken this to a topiarist (or topiarian), working with huge, unkempt bush and ending up with a fine piece of art. Once perfected, it has stayed the same ever since. Peter takes me to look in the downstairs cloakroom at pictures of the most important days of his life – wedding, birth of daughter etc. – the MO is always present.

Stuart, whilst working at Sainsburys at the tender age of 17 years old, was the first to grow a MO and, like Peter, has had it ever since. Inspiration came from the movers and shakers of his youth. It was the hip and happening trend of the time – everyone at ‘Jeans Nightclub’ (which is now Tescos next to the Hitchin train station) had one. He likens it to Trigger’s (Only Fools and Horses) broom (Trigger wins an award for owning the same broom for 20 years. He reveals that it has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles, but insists it is still the same broom – aka. Ship of Theseus paradox).

Weekly maintenance involves trimming and combing. They advise wearing safety glasses due to flying follicle shards and prefer to undertake this outdoors due to the mess it can make. Bad trimming days can happen leaving gaps and lob sided, so be careful and take your time.

Surprisingly, each found their first grey hair in the MO at 50. *cough*

Both look forward to Christmas as there is always a plastic moustache comb in the crackers (although I’ve never seen one? Perhaps this is a 70′s & 80′s thing).

Although the MO has always been present on both uncles, Stuart did accompany his with a goatee for a while. People would then know the difference between them (unless they forgot which one had the goatee) until Stuart shaved the goatee off. Before heading out one evening, they decided to get a stick on goatee and keep swapping it between themselves during the night, thus confusing everyone. I can only imagine the hilarity.

Both said that they wouldn’t now shave off their longstanding MO’s for fear of the tan line. Fair point.

A few words of warning and advice to all gentleman proudly displaying a MO:

1. Gentleman drink out of glasses, not because its more polite, but for a more practical reason. The inherent danger of drinking out of cans is that the ring pull can get caught in the hairs. This had only happened today to Peter. “You can hear the ‘ding’ of a trapped hair”, said Peter, his eyes filling with tears. The pain was still raw.

2. Flaming Sambucas. Both have been left with singed hair, a blistered septum and a strange lingering smell for weeks. Avoid at all costs.

3. Freezing MO’s in the winter. You would have thought it help to keep the lip warm, but no. I presume because there’s a lot of moisture in that area.

4. When in the growing phase, do not try and darken your MO with mascara, unless using a waterproof product. This can cause embarrassing dining experiences.

5. Avoid foam or cream topped drinks, unless you have a napkin at hand to dab away the residue.

A final quote from Stuart, on grooming a MO “The longer you’ve been at it, the more it grows on you.”

Today’s look… MO between two thorns.

MO between two thorns